emma ruth

last time my mom and i didn't go because we got lost. first we went to the downtown mall, but they were already closing. so we decided to go to Petaluma. But then my mom missed the exit. we ended up going through this endless road, and i started to panic quietly to myself. and took a bunch of videos to get my mind off things. because well, we were running out of gas and i didnt want the car to just stop in the middle of the road while other cars are speeding down straight at us. we ended up in Sebastopol, and got to a gas station. and then i made it in time for the MTV movie awards. :] that was the up side of things. the downside was, we didn't get to go shopping. and all day yesterday i was just bummed about it, because my mom said that we would go shopping then, but she ended up sleeping all day. so we didn't go. again. and i got kinda ticked off.

BUT TODAY WE DID! so i'm happy. because i bought a cool new dress and shoes.<3 yum. haha.

i know its stupid, but i sorta learned a lesson. and the perfect qoute that explains it perfectly.

i've been feeling reaallly self concious lately. and in the word of my sister, "sensative". i actually think i am, but sometimes it really does have to do with the situation. i mean if someone called me stupid, of course i'll react to it. but my point is, i think its easier said than done when someone tells you to "like yourself for who you are. except the fact that you are unique and your own person." it takes a lot to look in the mirror and say, "You are beautiful. In every single way. Words won't bring you down. No. No. Words can't bring you down today." ;] Really, it takes alot of guts, and confidence that some people just have difficutly getting. and some people have too much confidence and stare at themselves in the mirror every morning telling themselves they look hot and that they're the sexiest person to ever walk the face of the earth. but of course its not true. no offence.. i think if you take baby steps in accepting yourself, it could actually work. like, instead of seeing your flaws and hating yourself for having them -- embrace them. but don't let it empower you. because then you just lose yourself.

my flaws? oh the list goes on and on. my eyes squint at the end 'cause i have chinese in my blood,  i have messed up teeth, but i'm getting braces in the summer. i only have to wear them for a year and a half. not even two years. my body isn't perfect. i have some butt and thighs and a stomach. but suprisingly enough, i'm still a size one. maybe its because i'm short, i don't know. i'm learning how to eat healthier and i walk the dog everyday now. since i'm too lazy to actually excercise. but like i said, i'm still learning. one day i'll make it to the gym. might even walk there too. so now tell me -- what are your flaws? then think about the brighter side of it. how can you embrace it? and how can you make yourself feel better? having plastic surgery or starving yourself does not count. x] i'm serious.

I should be doing my homework :O oh no.

so me Valenti, and Hannah are having this movie night.

but my parents are being paranoid and wont let me go,

i mean i can... but they want them to come over here at my house.

and idk if i really want that cause we'll be watching scary movies and

my mom is going to be like, 'Oh thats so scary' the whole time

and she'll probably be scaring them off more than the movies.

sooo yeah...

but whatever. we'll see.

Frank Sinatra is the fuck. :]

oh yeah, new word.. sorta.

illberightback.

im so tired haha. but graduation is coming soon, i bought an awsome dress from Forever 21 :] its cutee. im in love with it. im probably going to wear it even when its not a special ocassion just because its that pretty. o.o does that make sense? anywho, i honestly cannot wait until im out of school. i think ive said that before, but its true, im done with homework, i dont want to do it anymore. but i have like 4 more meetings left and idk if im even going to make it to the Ridgecrest graduation.

im trying to upload videos but its not working.

im not sure if its just taking too long, or if its really not working because it doesnt show if

its even going or not. its pissing me offff lmao.

and youtube isnt working for some reason. grr.

I BOUGHT ICE CREAM :] im soo happy.

and bipolar ;]

one is vanilla and the other is mint chocolate chip.

yuuummmm.

its been sunny for a while now, i think its making everyone lighten up a bit.

American Idol tonight!!!!

ADAM LAMBERT IS MY HERO<3

im not joking, hes amazing, i wish he wins :']

he better win! or America has gone mad.

i killed a dragonfly in my bathroom.

im about to urinate when i see this ginormous (whatever the spelling is) dragonfly next to the toilet

and start freaking out, and me, i value my privacy

i dont like it when things are literally a fly on the wall

so i grab the paper towels cause im too much of a wimp to get any

near the toilet paper and i smash the thing, and right when i do

my mom comes knocking on the door and my dog starts barking

and i am literally scared shitless at that point

i thought its spouse was coming to get me!

theres two of them, i just dont know where the other one is

but like any other teenage american would,

i ran to Myspace and blogged about it

you have no idea how stoked i am, i cannot believe its over, im so happy!!!!!!! 
star testing is always the worse part of the year, kinda. but i hate it, i think i failed most of it though. 
oh well. i have three more meetings with my teacher. i have to do the science fair. 
i want to see the band play at the end of the year. eh. i dont want to be in school anymore. 
i just want it all to be over with. im ready for SUMMER BBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~LAST NIGHT~

ALRIGHT.

so I was on the phone with my mom cause she called.

and then i couldnt understand what she was saying.

and well heres how it sorta went. (starting from when it got retarded.)

MOM:"You know the internet for the phone?"

ME:"Uh, yeah?"

MOM:"Can you configure it?"

ME:"Um, I dont know how to do that.." -she makes noises like shes pissed-

MOM:"Give the phone to your dad."-angry voice.

ME:"Gosh, you dont have to be mad a bout it."

MOM:-pissed off laugh- "Im not being mad, what? Im just asking for your dad."

and so she talks to him.

And i guess she told him that he tells me to act like a bitch to her.

which is UNTRUE, i can think for myself thank you very much.

and so then my dad got mad at me for three hours straight.

and now everything is my fault.

and they have alot of self pitty,my parents.

Just five minutes ago, I was talking to my friend on AIM

and i laughed.

and my mom thought i was laughing at her.

so after the phone call she goes, "Emma, do you hate me? You want me to leave?"

~By the way, she asks this alot.

So i dont say anything.

then she goes, "You want me to leave?"

And im sick of all this, so i say, "Yeah,"

really quietly.

and shes like, "Ha, okay. Then ill just leave you."

and she goes and tells my dad.

and he gets mad at me.

tells us to talk to her.

so we do.

then shes ranting on about how we hate her.

my sister and I are failures apparently.

she cries.

my sister tries to talk to her.

then she cries.

my mom still doesnt get it.

and now hopefully she is leaving.

im sick of all this shit. its gay.

everyone is freaking out because they think they have the swine flu and the government is blaming Twitter because they're saying that all the hype came from the site because the users wanted more people to follow them so they wouls start talking about the flu. i dont think its Twitter's fault. Twitter was created so that people could put in what they are doing, and its not their fault that half of America believes they have Swine Flu. (con.LATER)

i haven't talked about my trip to pv yet :o why is that? i don't know. but sooo, i got there on a Saturday, and as ritual i blasted Metro Station then when we got to like that place where it says Palos Verdes and next to it is a 7-11. i don't know if you know what im talking about, but yeah. thats where i turn the station to 102.7 KIIS FM :') it brings tears to my eyes,lmao kidding. I CUT MY HAIR! yah.

yep, i couldn't get any better pictures cause i don't look good in them :| i don't really like the shirt in the bottom picture. so i'm freaking out right now haha, cause my god brother said there was this disease going around its like a normal flu except deadly and im freaking out cause ive had the sniffles and sneezing my ass off lately. but back to my PV summary, i hung out with Kristin and Lucy and haha when we went to Starbucks they saw this guy they knew and he sat a couple tables away and so i was like, idk this kid so why dont i talk to him. cause they were like SSSHHH. so i went up to him but i forgot his name so i asked him what it was and he was like,"are you trying to talk to me?" but i wasnt paying attention cause Kristin and Lucy were laughing in the back and so i mistook  and i wanted to say "i am talking to you.." but instead i was like, "yeah?" and then my mom came haha. me and Alyssa watched the Hannah Montana movie; we cracked up the whole time, people behind us who were watching probably hate us now. and then we watched 17 again at an early show. instead of 7 when all the cool kids watch it, yeah LMFAO. then i left on Saturday.

HOLY CRAP... so i looked up the disease you know, and it said it had to do with climate change and mosquitos,well the other day i got bit like twice. and now im freaking out EVEN MORE. im like hypervenalating haha. no but im freaking out... really.. holy shit.. oh my god. haha. i hope i dont die D:

~emmaruth

its officially Saturday! thank the lord!
i love Duffy, her music is amazing.
i think everyones music is amazing lmao.
but thats not true, i dislike alot of other musical artists..
but i respect the fact that they are successful in getting an audience because i know
for a fact that if i tried to get into the music industry, i would probably not get one person
that is NOT related or knows me to come to my shows. im pretty sure of it.
im being insecure i know, but thats just me and insecurity doesnt help when you
want to be in that kind of business 'cause you have to be 'headstrong' or whatever
HOLY CRAP. WHAT AM I SAYING?
i seriously have no idea why im talking about that.. thats weird.
anyways, my eyes shit dude they are closinngg.
John Mayer, love him.
I went to the mall, and i didnt get a thing but my sister's prom shoes.
they're cute, they're silver heels, it was suppose to be white but they didnt have
anymore in her size. LAME i know.
 
~emmaruth